Episode 633: TLP 633: How to Know If God Is Blessing Your Parenting

Parenting Is Worship, Not a Measure of God’s Anger

We absolutely never should interpret all discomfort in our lives as a sign that God is mad at us. That theology is so flawed. Parenting isn't about us. In fact, parenting isn't even about our kids. Parenting is just one way Christian dads and moms are to worship God.

So welcome to the Truth Love Parent podcast, where we train dads and moms to give God the preeminence in their parenting. Do you sometimes feel like God is punishing you as a parent? Are you convinced He's completely lost sight of you?

Would it be encouraging to know if God were blessing your parenting? Well, then you are in the right place. And I pray that today's episode will be both a blessing and a challenge to all of us. And if it does encourage you and or admonish you, I hope you'll share it with your friends.

Our mission here is to glorify God by equipping dads and moms to better worship Him with their parenting. That's why we write books and counsel and speak. And it's also why we include free episode notes, a transcript and links to related resources with every podcast.

We want you to be able to continue your study and growth even after the episode is over. Lastly, if you're just visiting us after the Thrive Homeschool Convention, we welcome you and pray that you will find so much help for your parenting in these 633 episodes and counting.

All right, let's find out if God is blessing our parenting. The world has this even exchange approach to life. They give money, they receive a product or service, they give you a birthday gift. They kind of assume you'll give them one too.

Something uncomfortable happens to them, they assume the universe or karma is somehow catching up with them. They intrinsically believe that good things are supposed to happen to good people and bad things are only supposed to happen to bad people.

It's our fleshly belief in our twisted understanding of fairness to assume that people who had tragedies in their lives somehow deserved it. And if God is happy with us, it's going to be all roses. This is why in John 9 verses 1 through 2 we read, He saw a man blind from birth and his disciples asked him, saying, Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?

But this, my friends, this cannot be further from the truth. We cannot assume that the relative ease or difficulty of our life experience is a direct indicator of whether God is blessing us. Therefore, we need a concrete biblical way to identify if God is truly pleased with our parenting.

But before we get any further, I'd like to apply this principle to our current initiative. If we don't raise enough money and we have to close truth love family's doors, that is not going to be an indicator that God wasn't pleased with us.

That doesn't mean that we failed him or that we're being punished. As we're going to see, it will mean that it was part of God's sovereign plan, his sovereign will for our lives, for which he has a glorious purpose.

But of course, in the moment right here, right now, that doesn't mean that we don't try to do our best to invite you to partner with us to keep this ministry going. In order to do that, we're trying to raise $100 ,000 of annual funds in order for us to become sustainable.

You could donate $100 a month or you could donate $50, $25, or $10 a month. It all adds up and it all helps. We're trying to be able to pay all of our bills, support my family with a living wage, and open a brick and mortar counseling center.

Now, honestly, $100 ,000 a year isn't enough for most nonprofits, but we believe we can do an awful lot with it, especially because look at what we've been doing for the past nine years with only $20 ,000 a year.

So please visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to become a monthly donor. And of course, all donations are tax exempt as we are a 501c3 nonprofit. Thank you so much for what you're going to do.

Comfort and Discomfort Are Not Reliable Signs of God’s Favor

All right, let's jump in. Number one, a correct view of comfort and discomfort. I want to make this point quickly and easily, but I also recognize that if you fundamentally disagree with what I'm saying, what I'm presenting here is not going to be as persuasive as I would hope.

And that's the unfortunate reality of short form podcast content. But here goes. Comfort is not inherently a sign that God is pleased with your life. Think about how many drug dealers and thieves and amoral movie stars live very comfortably.

Along the same lines, discomfort is not a sign that God is displeased with you. Here's my biblical justification for this point, and I could list so many, but we just read in John 9 verses 1 through 2 about the disciples' perception of the blind man.

But listen to Jesus' words from verse 3. Jesus answered, neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this was so that the works of God might be manifested in him. Now, it wasn't that none of them had ever done wrong.

He wasn't saying these people were perfect. It's just that their sin was not the reason the man had been born blind. The man was born blind because God wanted to work mightily in him. Jesus builds on this doctrine in Luke 13 verses 1 through 5.

Now, at that time, there were some present who were reporting to him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. And Jesus answered and said to them, Do you think that these Galileans were greater sinners than all other Galileans because they suffered these things?

I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or do you think that those 18 on whom the tower of Siloam fell and killed them were worse offenders than all the men who live in Jerusalem?

I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. The truth that Jesus is teaching is that we are all sinners and we all need to repent. And if we don't, we're all going to die and have a Christless eternity.

But God does not visit calamity on us as retribution for our sins. However, we must not come to an equally inappropriate conclusion that there are no consequences for sin. Some life choices we make do have physical, financial, relational, and emotional consequences to them.

In our Consequences series, we talk about the fact that all sin has at least three primary consequences associated with them. And we also know from the Old Testament that the Jews had divine promises of blessing and cursing tied to their obedience.

And we do read in 1 Corinthians 11 30 about people who had become sick and died because they had taken the Lord's Supper in an unworthy manner. Now, again, I can't answer all of these questions within the context of this podcast episode, but I can point to the life of Jesus Christ and make the observation that He experienced great discomfort, torture, and death as a result of living a perfectly holy life.

Jesus told us that people would hate us because they hated Him. Therefore, we absolutely never should interpret all this discomfort in our lives as a sign that God is mad at us. That theology is so flawed.

And it's in James 1 that we read,. Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith brings about perseverance, and that perseverance have its perfect work, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

God has a plan for our trials, and it's not something that should steal our joy. So then the question has to be asked, if I can't use the highs and lows of my life as any kind of confirmation that I'm on the right path, how can I know if God is blessing my endeavors?

Psalm 128 and the Biblical Markers of God’s Blessing

Number two, a correct way to identify God's pleasure and displeasure. Let's read Psalm 128, 1 through 6. How blessed is everyone who fears Yahweh, who walks in his ways? When you shall eat of the fruit of the labor of your hands, how blessed will you be, and how well will it be for you?

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the innermost parts of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, for thus shall the man be blessed who fears Yahweh. May Yahweh bless you from Zion, that you may see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

May you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel. Now, a carte blanche, one-for-one application to our lives would lead us to believe that we know God is pleased by our lives when our wives are fruitful and our kids are flourishing.

But we must be careful to identify that God did provide very specific promises to the Jewish people that do not apply in this day and age to us, especially for Gentiles. But that doesn't take away from the other fundamental truths that are reinforced by the rest of Scripture.

Letter A. How blessed is everyone who fears Yahweh. Hebrews 11 .6 teaches,. And without faith it is impossible to please him. For he who draws near to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of those who seek him.

If we are pursuing God in his glory, he always provides the spiritual blessing he promises. As Philippians 4 teaches,. We will have peace when we rejoice in God, love others, take our anxiety to him in prayer, think biblically, and live righteously.

He rewards our faith with spiritual blessings, which includes grace and mercy, peace, contentment, gratitude, and the power to please the Lord even when things are very difficult. So, do you believe that God needs to be at the center of your parenting?

Are you striving to conform your parenting to his word in order to please him? Are you seeking his glory in your home? If so, then he is blessing you with everything you need to will and to do of his good pleasure.

You couldn't even pursue those things without his blessing in your life. Letter B. How blessed is everyone who walks in his ways. This and the last point are overlapping because you cannot truly believe in God's plan for your parenting and not pursue it through active obedience.

But there are a lot of people who say they believe God who don't live accordingly. To those people, I would quote James, Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.

The rhetorical example here is that you cannot show anything without works. The scriptures were given to us to teach us about God, reprove us in our sin, help correct our lives, and train us to remain faithful.

In John 15 .10, Jesus says,. So, are you striving to limit your parenting to God's expectations for your kids? Are you striving to parent in truth and love? Are you teaching, reproving, correcting, and training in his word?

Are you submitting how you will parent to the ways he's commanded? Are you submitting why you parent to his revealed will? Do you default first to scripture or to secular thought when working with your kids?

Do you fight in your own sinful anger? Do you flee idolatry and selfish lusts? My friends, if you are drawing near to God, James promises that he will draw near to us. And then James explains in chapter 4 that drawing near to God requires that we.

This is the process of recognizing our sin, confessing, apologizing for it, and repenting. And if that's how you're parenting, it doesn't matter if your kids choose to follow God or if they choose to rebel.

Yes, that's right. I said that. Of course, it matters for them. They themselves need to submit to God. But for you and your parenting, God is pleased and he is blessing you if that is how you're parenting, regardless of how your kids respond to it.

So, the real issue is not that God isn't blessing your obedience. It's that you misinterpret the blessing. You want blue skies and your kids to be nice to each other. But God is blessing you with the strength to rear your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and the peace to carry on even when they're not obeying.

Discipline, Conviction, and the Blessing of Repentance

And this last category is the one we really don't like. Letter C, those whom the Lord loves, he disciplines. Now, this particular truth did not come from our Psalm 128 passage, but this does come from Hebrews.

And this is another way to know that God is blessing your parenting is when you do get sinfully angry and you have selfish motivations and you lead your children in psychobabble and then the Holy Spirit convicts you of that and draws you to confession, forgiveness, and repentance.

Did you know the conviction of the Lord is a blessing? Without it, we would never have come to know God and be saved in the first place. When you experience parental guilt and shame and regret tied to those times you didn't obediently submit your parenting to God in faith, that's a good thing.

I would encourage you to listen to our Children in Shame series to learn how God wants to use good shame in yours and your children's lives. And it's in Hebrews 12, 6 that we read,. And it continues,.

Now, this is a quote from Proverbs 3, 12. And then Hebrews 12 continues. God deals with you as with sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us and we respected them. Shall we not much rather be subject to the father of spirits and live? For they, referring to those earthly fathers, they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them.

But he disciplines us for our benefit so that we may share his holiness. And all discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful but sorrowful. But to those who have been trained by it afterwards, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble and make straight the paths of your feet so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Now, I know that was a long, interrupted section, but we can sum it up by saying that God disciplines us to draw us near to him.

He does this because he loves us, and that is a blessing. And the right response to such conviction is becoming stronger in our faith and more faithful in our obedience and thanking God for reproving us.

And of course, the very ability to do any of those things is part of the blessing of God. Now, there is so much more that could be said, but I hope you see that the biggest problems are as follows. Letter A, God isn't blessing our parenting because we're not glorifying him with it.

Okay, that's a very big problem for all of us. But Letter B, we're not rightly identifying God's blessing in our parenting because all we really want is comfort. If you want to know if God is blessing your parenting, start by evaluating whether or not you're parenting for him or for you.

Submit your parenting to God's revealed word in order to please him and love your kids, and then you can know for certain that you are already an active recipient of God's blessing. Of course, this episode is shorter than many of the other ones we've had recently, and each of our knowledge of God, faith in him, submission to the scriptures, and family situations are pretty unique.

So, instead of trying to layer on more passages that all teach the same thing, or give a cornucopia of examples hoping to illustrate your current situation, what I want to do is invite you to reach out to me for personalized counsel.

I would love to spend time with you and your family to identify if your parenting is being blessed by God or not. We'll take the scriptures together to understand God's expectations for you, and if you're not parenting accordingly, help you glorify the Lord in how you lead your kids.

But if we identify that you are, for the most part, trying to submit your parenting to the Lord, we can look to the Bible to rightly identify how God is blessing you in it, even when things are hard. And if you're interested in that, you can email us at counselor at truthloveparent .com, or leave a voicemail at 828 -423 -0894.

My friends, we're all looking for validation and affirmation, but we need to look in the right place. So, please share this episode so that other Christian parents can better identify God's blessing, or lack thereof, in their parenting.

The Next Episode on Deeper Family Problems

And speaking of family issues, on our next episode, we're going to open God's Word to realize that all family issues stem from other, deeper problems, and we'll root out the top five most common and search for biblical resources to address those roots.

And of course, check out our description and today's episode for a ton of related content I didn't mention during the episode, and I'll see you next time. Truth. Love. Parent is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you worship God through your parenting.

So join us next time as we study God's Word to learn how to parent our children for life and godliness. And remember that TLP is a listener-supported ministry. You can visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to learn more.