Church Soup ***January 2025*** Featuring Kenneth Copeland, Wesley Huff, GTA Vatican City, and more!

Kenneth Copeland’s Covenant With God About His Death

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Welcome back to Church Soup, the greatest evangelical news show in the history of the Internet. I'm your host, Keith Foskey, the Harbor Freight Doug Wilson, King of the Amillennialists, and apparently, part-time Walmart wedding officiant.

Here at Church Soup, we take all of the church-related news from around the web, mix it together into a hearty stew, and serve it to you in about 10 minutes. Our top story. Private jet owner and Spirit Halloween mask model Kenneth Copeland recently announced that he has made a covenant with God regarding the date of his death, stating that he will live until the year 2056.

I have made and entered covenant with God, and on December the 6th, 2056, I'll see y 'all.

Later.

Copeland, who is 88 at the time of this video, would be 120 years old at the time of his prophesied demise, giving the world over three decades of his shenanigans left to behold. Just so you know, that's a lot of church soup.

Also, what kind of person applauds something like this?

120 years old.

All he did was make an outrageous claim. He didn't accomplish anything. He didn't prove anything. Well, in 2056, if I live that long, and if all goes according to my prophecy that Church Soup will be a nationally recognized news outlet by that time, I'll be sure to cover his funeral at my age of 75.

I'll be holding my applause until then. Also, I asked AI to make me look like an elderly newscaster, and honestly, I feel like I look older than that now. Oh well, it could be worse. I could look like this.

Vatican Jubilee Year and Plenary Indulgences

Moving on. In news from the Vatican, to mark the Jubilee year, which Roman Catholics celebrate every 25 years instead of every 50 years like the Bible prescribes, because hey, when have Catholics ever let the Bible tell them what to do?

The Holy See has graciously unveiled its latest list of plenary indulgences, which promise to take away temporal punishments due to sin. Among the highlights, an indulgent for abstaining from video games.

Yes, so long as you can hold off from playing the latest iteration of Grand Theft Auto, Vatican City, you can rest assured that some, most, or maybe all of your time in purgatory has been granted a complete pardon.

And this actually makes perfect sense, as the pardon provided by these indulgences is just as much of a fantasy as the video games you'd be playing. So in reality, you're just trading one game of make-believe for another.

Todd Bentley’s Healing Claims and Ministry Scandals

In Word of Faith news, notorious physical assailant and biker boot enthusiast Todd Bentley is back making his outrageous claims to healing. This time after himself having been hospitalized due to a seizure.

Bentley now claims to have the power to cancel death and heal terminal illnesses, which is an amazing power to be given to someone with the lack of self-control necessary to perform not one, but two acts of ministry-disgracing marital infidelity.

Now some of you may not know that Todd Bentley has been around for a while, and so have I. In fact, I posted a YouTube video about him 16 years ago called Exposing Todd Bentley. Here's a short clip from that video.

And the Holy Spirit spoke to me, the gift of faith came on me. He said, kick her in the face with your biker boot. I inched closer and I went like this. And just as my boot made contact with her nose, she fell into the power of God.

Okay, now I really feel old. Speaking of men who claim great miracles and fleece God's flock, serial charlatan and comb-over aficionado Benny Hinn recently gave instructions for how he runs his healing services to the students of Bethel Ministries alongside Bill Johnson.

Here he says that they have to control who gets to sit in the front row, because those people can challenge the anointing and ruin the service.

Be careful who sits on the front row, because they can challenge the anointing. You cannot operate if somebody starts to challenge you. You got to get them out of the way.

Yes, Benny, it is hard to manipulate and hypnotize people who don't buy into your tomfoolery. Also, if anyone's interested, I have an older video I made about the same time as my Todd Bentley video called Exposing Benny Hinn.

If you want to see it, let me know in the comments. As always, any time I think of Benny Hinn, one phrase comes immediately to mind. I hope it's a blast for him, because it's certainly a blast for me.

Reformed Twitter Controversy Over Tobias Rammenschnitzel and Joel Webben

The reformed Twitter world has been divided recently over issues related to videos produced by German pastor Tobias Rammenschnitzel and Texas two-step champion Joel Webben, who I contend was the inspiration for the Dr. Claw character from the TV show Inspector Gadget.

As I've had both of these pastors on my show, I thought that I would give my insights on the controversy, as a way of setting the entire record straight. See what had happened was... And that's how Brian Sauve sold his patent for affordable shampoo and made the money to create Haunted Cosmos.

I hope that clears everything up, and no one should ever ask me about this controversy.

Again.

Los Angeles Wildfires and DEI in the Fire Department

Southern California is currently grappling with multiple wildfires, notably the Palisades and Eaton fires, which have collectively scorched over 40 ,000 acres and destroyed more than 12 ,000 structures, leading to the evacuation of approximately 150 ,000 residents.

In the midst of this terrible ordeal, a video has gone viral of Los Angeles Fire Department Assistant Chief Christine Larson, who currently leads the Equity and Human Resources Bureau with a focus on diversity, equity, and inclusion within the fire department.

Here she is explaining why it's important that the person who responds to your emergency looks like you.

You want to see somebody that responds to your house, your emergency, whether it's a medical call or a fire call, that looks like you.

I just want to say for the record, I don't care if the person who comes to save my life or property looks like me. What I do care about is competency and ability, which is not the things that Larson seems to be concerned about when she openly admits that it's not her job to carry someone out of a fire if necessary, which seems like standard work for a firefighter.

Is she strong enough to do this or you couldn't carry my husband out of a fire, which my response is he got himself in the wrong place if I have to carry him out of a fire.

Listen, honey, I don't expect you to carry me out of a fire. Jocko Willick couldn't carry me out of a fire. But when the people you work alongside can't trust that you can do the bare minimum that your job requires, maybe that's because it's not the job for you.

Also, while this is happening in America, meanwhile in China, they have literal video game characters working for their departments. Check this guy out. That cop just went full Jackie Chan on that guy.

He super moved that man. Now there's no sound in this video, but I feel like if you could hear this, he would be screaming, Hadouken, Mortal Kombat, Leroy Jenkins. Also, if I was the bad guy, I would just lay down and die of embarrassment.

Imagine getting rocked by Jet Li's cousin and then having to spend the rest of your days in a Chinese prison. No thank you. But that's what can be accomplished when you prioritize ability over diversity.

Also, I bet that guy could totally carry me out of a fire. Speaking of equity and inclusion, a new study Bible has come out, which is sure to check all the DEI boxes. The NIV Upside Down Kingdom Bible, published by Zondervan, claims to be a resource that challenges conventional wisdom and encourages wide-reaching love.

Zondervan, a Christian publishing company founded in 1931, is currently owned by Harper Collins, which is a subsidiary of News Corp, the media conglomerate led by Rupert Murdoch. And this study Bible project was overseen by General Editor Dr. Preston Sprinkel, no relation to Sally Sprinkel from Presbyterian Pines.

He is the co-founder and president of the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Here he is in an interview with contributor Dr. Joey Dodson.

One of the values going into the study Bible was diversity. So ethnic diversity, gender diversity, denominational theological diversity.

With all the claims to diversity, it makes me wonder how many Reformed Baptists were invited to contribute. I'm thinking probably none.

Exegesis is best done in community, and it's best done in a diverse community.

Exegesis is best done in community is the fanciest way I've ever heard of saying what matters most is not what the text means, but what it means to you. Over against this claim of exegetical precision, many Bible scholars from various denominational backgrounds have expressed concerns about the information which has gone into the notes and articles included in this Bible, saying that they distort the biblical message and promote an unbiblical view of gender and sexuality.

Wesley Huff, Billy Carson, and the Joe Rogan Experience

Also, the Independent Baptists are just upset that they chose to use the NIV. Finally, Wesley Huff has made an impact on the evangelical internet scene recently by committing the kindest murder ever witnessed on camera.

Huff was invited onto a podcast to rebut the claims of Billy Carson, who asserts that the Bible contains countless factual inaccuracies, and that portions were even copied from older Near Eastern mythical texts.

Huff, who is an expert in this field, easily rebutted many of the claims of Carson to the point that Carson finally ended the discussion, seemingly in frustration, by walking off camera. Well, this debate went viral online and led to Huff being invited to the Joe Rogan Experience, the largest podcast in the world.

Rogan, after having Huff on for three hours to talk about biblical manuscripts and the historicity of the Christian faith, then went on to have a similar dialogue with Hollywood legend and Catholic set-a-vacantist Mel Gibson, who also discussed the historicity of the Christian faith, but in a style that was markedly different from Huff.

Resurrection.

Yeah.

Who gets back up three days later after he gets murdered in public, who gets back up under his own power. Buddha didn't do that.

Right.

You know.

You're right, Mel. When it comes to the resurrection, indeed, Buddha didn't do that. Thank you for watching Church Soup. I appreciate everyone who's contributed to this show by tagging me and sending me material.

You guys are awesome. And if you want to contribute in the future, you can send me news stories at KeithFoskey .com or simply tag me in a comment with the hashtag Church Soup. I want to again encourage you to subscribe to our channel for more content.

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